We have discovered over the years how important play is. I am talking about things like going bowling together, going to the movies together, taking fun little trips together, catching a play together and things like that.
We have had a few people really struggle with that because it feels like we are taking a day "off" when we do something like this and I think that comes from people still thinking that the only "spiritual things" we can do as a church are, in no specific order, worship through singing, having one person teach a sermon style teaching, praying in the very common way of folded hands and closed eyes, to name a few. Even taking time to do announcements seem to have stuck in peoples "habit-bank" as something of great value that could only be done right after worship through song.
So, we have done quite a bit of deconstruction on these things, and I would say, some construction as well. We are in a period of renewal I would say when it comes to our gatherings. We are constantly letting our imagination flow as what we could do together when we gather together.
"Play" is one of those things. Tomorrow I will writer more about that.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Ordinary Life
We were constantly running around, trying to fit ordinary life into our busy schedule. Leadership meetings, worship band practices, home group and Sunday's were insane. We could easily be at church from early in the morning to late at night. It felt a little like we were drowning. It was hard to find time for family stuff, for rest and quality time with friends. It really was like living in two worlds that didn't seem to fit together. I remember a conversation I had with a dear friend after we had left the church we attended. I told him that I was a little frustrated because I felt like all I was doing at the time was being a dad and a husband. My dear friend looked me straight in my eyes and said "your language betrays you" and then "somehow you have been conditioned to think that those are less important things". That hit me like a ton of bricks. I totally did. I had come to believe that being a dad and a husband were lesser things compared to leading worship, leading a home group, doing ministry. It's still a little bit of a mystery how this happened because that is not what I was taught. All the teaching I got would clearly stated that family is of huge value and your marriage is key. So how did I end up not valuing being a dad and a husband? I think it has to do with context. let me try to explain; all of us were busy, all the leaders and a lot of non-leaders as well. I remember my wife and I having a conversation with a youn g couple at a "Welcome to our church" function. The husband and the wife were so frustrated because they felt like they were not involved enough in the church, They felt pressured to be more involved. They also expressed frustration about not being able to be a part of their kids life. They felt bad about not being able to have their son attend little league base ball because how busy they where and were about to get more busy. My wife asked them what they were involved in and the answer ran something like this; "Oh not very much, I mean all we do is home-group on Tuesdays, Adult Learning classes on Wednesdays, food bank on Saturdays and then Sunday School on Sundays. My husband also does the Mens' ministry and I (the wife) go to Women's bible studies. We also do "Serve Fest" when that happens".
To our amazement, she then added something like this; "We would love for our son to do the base ball thing but we do want more opportunities to serve the church and be part of evangelism". We were crushed. This is what we were a part of. This is what we were doing to people. When asked what we would do if we were them, we said, "Stop everything you are doing. Be a part of your sons Little league Base ball. Invest in your son. If you need support in that go to home-group , but for crying out loud, stop all the other stuff."
It's so sad to me now as I look back, this is something I was a part of doing to people. I was a part of the machine that somehow had created a context and a system that produced these kind of people. We didn't have time for all the stuff that we felt was so important. We didn't have time or energy to really live out our values.
Now then, we are doing things a little different. Our context for Church is "ordinary life". How can, what we do, how we do it, when we do it, serve our lives? As we tend to the ordinary life stuff, kids, finances, marriage, work and friendship, we ask ourselves this; how do we support each other in this, how do we form and shape things so ordinary life become our context for church? More on that tomorrow.
To our amazement, she then added something like this; "We would love for our son to do the base ball thing but we do want more opportunities to serve the church and be part of evangelism". We were crushed. This is what we were a part of. This is what we were doing to people. When asked what we would do if we were them, we said, "Stop everything you are doing. Be a part of your sons Little league Base ball. Invest in your son. If you need support in that go to home-group , but for crying out loud, stop all the other stuff."
It's so sad to me now as I look back, this is something I was a part of doing to people. I was a part of the machine that somehow had created a context and a system that produced these kind of people. We didn't have time for all the stuff that we felt was so important. We didn't have time or energy to really live out our values.
Now then, we are doing things a little different. Our context for Church is "ordinary life". How can, what we do, how we do it, when we do it, serve our lives? As we tend to the ordinary life stuff, kids, finances, marriage, work and friendship, we ask ourselves this; how do we support each other in this, how do we form and shape things so ordinary life become our context for church? More on that tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
A new kind of people
So frustrated, disoriented and very confused my wife and I took the plunge. We left the church we had been a part of for years. We also in a sense left the movement we had been a part of for a long time. It was really hard. Being so familiar with stuff and then left without a lot of those familiarities was more painful than we thought it would be. We didn't realize at that moment how certain practices and values had deeply impacted our lives. In many ways we had become slaves. We had been somehow conditioned to not ask questions and never question the status quo. Just go along with the flow. This became more evident when we started to hang out with some of our friends who had also left the church. There was another rhythm to what they were doing. Different seasons. There was also an encouragement almost a gentle pressure to questions things. It was absolutely fine to not agree with each other. As long as we were respectful and remained relationship conscious. Now this group of people was in no way perfect or had it all together. We had our share of relationship issues and fights that didn't end up well but at the core there were friendships that remind and relationships that were starting to form something quite beautiful.
We started to question the notion that the structure we were so used to; meet on Sunday Morning, maintain a very specific rhythm during that gathering at all cost, worship is to be music mainly, teaching is to be done in a very traditional "speaker up towards the front, lecturing" kind of style. This structure did no longer serve us. We had become slaves in serving it. So what grew out of that was a different kind of structure, more flexible, more fluid, more in tune to something we had grown really fond of; the freedom to tend to our personal, ordinary lives as a community of believers and as individuals.
The structure of our gatherings, what we do and how we do it, and when we do it, can be bent and shaped at the need of people, friends and strangers. Slowly there was a Hermeneutics of surprise and interruption being developed. Not only did we appreciate the freedom and the hospitality of such a structure but we also noticed what a wonderful context for spiritual transformation it was. If we are to become a people of hospitality; then what are the boundaries that governs that? What price are we willing to pay for hospitality? Give up the verbal teaching for the service of others? Not meet at all for the service of others?
If we are to become a people of mercy; then what price does that come at? Is it really necesarry for Sunday morning to become the container for all that we do, with an additional Wednesday night Bible study? Is there another way of doing things?
No it may seem like structure has taken a back seat to things in our midst but that is not the case. It is very important. It is important enough that we decide to question and take inventory of it to see if it is serving us or if we are serving it.
We try to set a good rhythm for things, we try to discern what God is doing around us , through us and among us. We also look for, expect and long for times when it seem good to the Holy Spirit and us for an interruption. We have also learned that it is right and appropriate to not overwhelm people with teaching. Most of us are over-taught and under-experienced, meaning we have heard so much teaching but given little space and resources to actually experience the change that the teaching could bring. So there is a new appreciation of time among us. Knowing that God is doing good things among us we are fine with letting things take time.
We have become a people that is learning to wait.
We have become a people who realizes that good teaching leaves room for practice and reflection.
We have become a people that is growing in the knowledge and appreciation of the spiritual formation that comes from living life, tending and nurturing the ordinary things of life.
Tomorrow I'll try to continue with this but go a little in to more detail
We started to question the notion that the structure we were so used to; meet on Sunday Morning, maintain a very specific rhythm during that gathering at all cost, worship is to be music mainly, teaching is to be done in a very traditional "speaker up towards the front, lecturing" kind of style. This structure did no longer serve us. We had become slaves in serving it. So what grew out of that was a different kind of structure, more flexible, more fluid, more in tune to something we had grown really fond of; the freedom to tend to our personal, ordinary lives as a community of believers and as individuals.
The structure of our gatherings, what we do and how we do it, and when we do it, can be bent and shaped at the need of people, friends and strangers. Slowly there was a Hermeneutics of surprise and interruption being developed. Not only did we appreciate the freedom and the hospitality of such a structure but we also noticed what a wonderful context for spiritual transformation it was. If we are to become a people of hospitality; then what are the boundaries that governs that? What price are we willing to pay for hospitality? Give up the verbal teaching for the service of others? Not meet at all for the service of others?
If we are to become a people of mercy; then what price does that come at? Is it really necesarry for Sunday morning to become the container for all that we do, with an additional Wednesday night Bible study? Is there another way of doing things?
No it may seem like structure has taken a back seat to things in our midst but that is not the case. It is very important. It is important enough that we decide to question and take inventory of it to see if it is serving us or if we are serving it.
We try to set a good rhythm for things, we try to discern what God is doing around us , through us and among us. We also look for, expect and long for times when it seem good to the Holy Spirit and us for an interruption. We have also learned that it is right and appropriate to not overwhelm people with teaching. Most of us are over-taught and under-experienced, meaning we have heard so much teaching but given little space and resources to actually experience the change that the teaching could bring. So there is a new appreciation of time among us. Knowing that God is doing good things among us we are fine with letting things take time.
We have become a people that is learning to wait.
We have become a people who realizes that good teaching leaves room for practice and reflection.
We have become a people that is growing in the knowledge and appreciation of the spiritual formation that comes from living life, tending and nurturing the ordinary things of life.
Tomorrow I'll try to continue with this but go a little in to more detail
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
The grass on the other side
I used to be drawn to the loud and charismatic. Leaders that knew how to tug on the heart-strings, get emotions flowing, get excitement boiling.
I don't any more. My experience with so many of those leaders were, that so much of all that, was just hype. I still had to go home and figure stuff out in my context, which is and always will be; ordinary life. The pseudo universe or other dimension of everything is fine and will just get better had crashed in on me. I needed to find God in ordinary life, driving the kids to school, my kids having friendship issues with the kids on our street,I needed for the pile of dishes on my sink to somehow remind me about where God was in my life, I needed time to cultivate friendships in our busy lifestyle, I needed things to make some sort of sense on Monday morning as I went to work, I needed to be connected to people who cared about me not just the gifts I was bringing for service. I was so tired of always talking about healing that may or may not have happened, all this supposedly miraculous stuff, I was being so set on the miraculous, that I had forgotten to stop and enjoy my son running around in a superman costume, my daughter's beautiful little drawings, the almost angelic little giggles from my youngest son. I felt as if there was no oxygen, I couldn't breathe. Add to that the constant pressure for the church to grow, to think big, raising money and for people to see how shiny we were. The strange dynamic of leadership; always needing more leaders and never being satisfied with the depth of leaders we got. Time had become such a rarity. We never had time to do what we needed to do well, we didn't have time to reflect, for things to change. All this taking place to the chants of a very disconnected leadership core. There was a class difference. Leaders were in a separate group, we led not so much by example as we led from pedestals. "You to can be a leaders as I am" if you are willing to forget your marriage at times, your kids, your friends your neighborhood. Rules were different for the different classes; leaders could adapt a strictly business mindset but others were not allowed to. Leaders could say things in a "our way or the highway" attitude, others could not. That would have been considered a spirit of rebellion or independence. So all this led me to a place of desperation, I needed time, I needed life but most of all I needed OUT.
I will try to soon write something about what I found on the other side but let me start with this. The grass was greener, plus there were some shade trees, some fresh air, some cold fresh water....
I don't any more. My experience with so many of those leaders were, that so much of all that, was just hype. I still had to go home and figure stuff out in my context, which is and always will be; ordinary life. The pseudo universe or other dimension of everything is fine and will just get better had crashed in on me. I needed to find God in ordinary life, driving the kids to school, my kids having friendship issues with the kids on our street,I needed for the pile of dishes on my sink to somehow remind me about where God was in my life, I needed time to cultivate friendships in our busy lifestyle, I needed things to make some sort of sense on Monday morning as I went to work, I needed to be connected to people who cared about me not just the gifts I was bringing for service. I was so tired of always talking about healing that may or may not have happened, all this supposedly miraculous stuff, I was being so set on the miraculous, that I had forgotten to stop and enjoy my son running around in a superman costume, my daughter's beautiful little drawings, the almost angelic little giggles from my youngest son. I felt as if there was no oxygen, I couldn't breathe. Add to that the constant pressure for the church to grow, to think big, raising money and for people to see how shiny we were. The strange dynamic of leadership; always needing more leaders and never being satisfied with the depth of leaders we got. Time had become such a rarity. We never had time to do what we needed to do well, we didn't have time to reflect, for things to change. All this taking place to the chants of a very disconnected leadership core. There was a class difference. Leaders were in a separate group, we led not so much by example as we led from pedestals. "You to can be a leaders as I am" if you are willing to forget your marriage at times, your kids, your friends your neighborhood. Rules were different for the different classes; leaders could adapt a strictly business mindset but others were not allowed to. Leaders could say things in a "our way or the highway" attitude, others could not. That would have been considered a spirit of rebellion or independence. So all this led me to a place of desperation, I needed time, I needed life but most of all I needed OUT.
I will try to soon write something about what I found on the other side but let me start with this. The grass was greener, plus there were some shade trees, some fresh air, some cold fresh water....
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Sunday August 12, 2007
A good day, I think. I am having problem with getting up in the morning. I think I am staying up to late at Night. I am soo behind in the backyard it's funny. I got to get out there and do some work. I am also a little nervous because I am going to the Doctor for a diabetes check up. I know I haven't been a good boy, I haven't been bad either but...ah...I don't like going to the doctor.
I am going to do my best with keeping a journal, but...well we'll see
I am going to do my best with keeping a journal, but...well we'll see
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